And the winner is...

I must share my snarky fashion commentary with the world!!!

7:16 - Cameron Diaz just said the EXACT same thing to Sheri Shepherd that she did to Ryan Seacrest.

7:21 - Tina Fey's ensemble is boring me.

7:22 - I don't know what pains me more Kathy Ireland talking or Miley Cyrus's posture. It's a toss-up.

7:23 - I think Jeff Bridges is sexy and I'm not embarrassed to say it. His wife looks fantastic. Someone want to buy me those earrings? Anyone? Anyone? No? ... And Kate Winslet's necklace. How about now? Any one feeling generous?

7:24 - Could I be happier for Gabourey Sidibe? I mean what if she won. I mean we all know Sandy or Meryl are going to win but WHAT IF? Either way she looks amazing so there's that.

7:25 - Meryl looks resplendent. That's right - resplendent! I wish she were my aunt. No disrespect to my current aunts. ;)

7:28 - I will not be seeing The Back-up Plan, in case anyone was wondering.

7:30 - Whoa whoa why are they making them all stand there? Tad awkward I think. HA! Gabourey Sidibe worked it! LOVE IT!

7:32 - I wish Neil Patrick Harris was actually hosting!?! I wish he were one of my gay best friends (no offense to my current best gays).

7:33 - I guess Steve Martin and Alex Baldwin were like "We don't sing."

7:38 - I don't like the stage. I remember really loving it last year and this year I think it looks cheesy.

7:39 - Why did Alex Baldwin dye his hair? I like the grey.

7:40 - Sam Worthington did not think the Avatar bit was funny.

7:41 - I really hope this War of Roses Cameron/Bigelow thing doesn't go on all night. It's getting old real fast.

7:43 - It pains me to say this but George Clooney does not look his best. He needs a haircut - just like my husband!

7:44 - I have Woody winning this. Let's see if I'm right.

7:48 - I know Christoph Waltz was the expected winner. I hope there are SOME surprises tonight or this could get boring.

7:51 - DUDE they're doing clips from ALL TEN best film nominees.

7:56 - Cameron Diaz looks dreamy.

7:59 - Up. Duh.

8:01 - Look! It's like how to be classy v. trashy!

8:03 - Nine was TERRIBLE - like I almost walked out terrible.

8:04 - Called it. T. Bone of course.... My mom thought Crazy Heart was about T. Bone Burnett.

8:05 - Nicholas, I love you more than rainbows.

8:06 - I've seen all of the Best Picture nominees except A Serious Man, because Netflix is a jerk. District 9 started strong but finished kind of lame. That's about all I got on it.

8:12 - I'm adding to what I said about Tina Fey. Her dress is boring. Her makeup and hair are just bad.

8:13 - Do you think RDJ purposefully matched his tie to his glasses?

8:14 - I'm predicting Hurt Locker.

8:15 - SNAP! Nicholas predicted Inglourious Basterds. I guess it's official - I'm the smarter spouse! ;)

8:17 - I was confused for a moment. Now, I get it. John Hughes tribute. I'm in favor.

8:18 - HA! What must it be like to walk around as Ferris Bueller the rest of your life? FYI I can quote ALMOST all of that movie.

8:20 - I watched Some Kind of Wonderful for the first time the other day. I didn't enjoy it.

8:21 - Did you know John Hughes had Beethoven's FIFTH? As in a FOURTH followup to Beethoven. Can't believe they left that out of the tribute. Sorry, I don't mean to speak ill of the dead.

8:22 - LOVING the reunion!

8:24 - If you didn't cry during Up, you have no heart.

8:27 - Zoe Saldano needs to have a piece of my coca cola cake. Girlfriend is T-H-I-N.

8:29 - Oh I'm feeling this. I mean who doesn't wonder what the heck this category is about.

8:30 - OMG that baby is so scary. We saw that when they rebroadcast all of Pixar's shorts on ABC a while back. Soooo creepy!

8:31 - I think I predicted Logorama. ... HA! I'm awesome!

8:33 - I picked the Rabit one. Oh well.

8:34 - WHOA WHOA WHOA Is this woman supposed to be up there? What's going on?

8:35 - Ok apparently she's supposed to there. I picked Miracle Fish for this one.

8:37 - Not to be a jerk but if you're going to wear tails your shirt shouldn't be hanging out the bottom.

8:38 - How many Avatars will there be at Halloween? A million. 2 million. I dread it.

8:39 - I predicted Young Victoria just because I LOVED it and I want it to win something.

8:41 - Ok so vulcan ears might be harder than making Emily Blunt look pretty. Whatever.

8:42 - Should I see Star Trek? Is it good? I think it's in my que.

8:43 - I mean come on - he's sexy right? WAY sexy.

8:48 - I wish Rachel McAdams was my friend. I picked Up in the Air.

8:50 - I'm happy with these results. I want Precious to win some statues.

8:51 - "This is for everyone who works on a dream everyday." Nice.

8:52 - U-N-I-T-Y

8:54 - If I am half as awesome as Lauren Bacall when I'm her age - or hell even now - I will be lovin life.

8:56 - Vera Farmiga and Penelope Cruz are wearing very similar dresses.

8:57 - Wait, who won best supporting actor last year? Why is Robin Williams presenting?

8:58 - "I type with purpose." I love that line.

8:59 - Not even kidding. I am sitting here dreading Monique clips because I will then be haunted by that character again for weeks and weeks. Shiver.

9:00 - An Education is really, really, really wonderful and Cary Mulligan makes it.

9:05 - The ribbon and the sash are too much. One or the other.

9:06 - I picked Avatar for all these boring technical awards.

9:07 - Seriously, do we really need to kiss James Cameron's ass anymore?

9:09 - I (heart) SJP I do and I will go see the Sex and the City sequel but that dress is terrible.

9:10 - Bright Star should win. Her outfits were integral and had a presence all their own.

9:11 - I mean is it me or do costume designers always look terrible!?!

9:12 - Here's fun story. As I was leaving Precious thinking, "I need a therapy session." I saw a girl - I'd say 9 or 10 - leaving the theater. It's a good thing I don't have DFACS on speed dial.

9:16 - Harold Wheeler does DWTS! I love him!

9:17 - Ok, it's 9:17 and we're only like a halfway through. Shouldn't we cut all the cutesy skits?

9:18 - Kristen Stewart Wears. Me. Out.

9:19 - Jaws is scary y'all. For real. I thought it was going to be lame. Not lame. Scary.

9:22 - Lovin Anna's dress. It's so lovely. I can't wear that color and it's not fair.

9:25 - Shocking! I was sure Avatar would win all these technical awards. I was also hoping they'd give Avatar a bunch of small awards and wouldn't feel obligated to give them Best Picture.

9:27 - I'm worried now. What if it works in the reverse?

9:28 - HA! Elizabeth Banks plunked down those stairs like she wasn't scared at all! Love it!

9:29 - I like her other dress better.

9:30 - I enjoyed Inglourious Basterds. It's weird to watch a WWII movie you know is completely false but still it was good.

9:34 - WHOA! Her dress looks about ten times of fantastic under those lights. It wasn't near that exciting on the red carpet.

9:37 - FYI Demi Moore gave birth to her first child in Paducah, KY.

9:38 - I always want to kiss James Taylor on top of his big old bald head.

9:39 - MARTY! Everyone should see that movie - it is one of my all time favorites.

9:45 - JLo's dress looks like bubble wrap.

9:46 - This reminds me of how excited I am about the new season of DWTS.

9:49 - Up should win. So wonderful and memorable. Didn't you leave the theater humming it?

9:54 - I do not find Gerard Butler attractive. He's getting by on his accent.

9:55 - Avatar winning Best Special Effects about sums up how I'm feeling about this Oscar-cast.

9:57 - Up in the Air was just well-done. Well written. Well acted. Well directed. Well done.

10:00 - That Modern Family commercial was funnier than every joke COMBINED in the actual Oscars.

10:01 - I want to go on vacation with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and their families. I saw a picture of them surfing once and was so jealous!

10:02 - The Cove was so affecting. I hope it wins. Although if Food Inc won, more people would see it and that would be a good thing.

10:04 - Sweet! WAIT! Fisher Stevens did this!?! Wild!

10:07 - Seriously! Keanu got The Hurt Locker. They couldn't do any better?

10:10 - I have genuine affection for Quentin Tarantino. I can't help it.

10:16 - This guy is way cute.

10:20 - It's trite. It's lame. It's AVATAR!

10:24 - Dude, Michelle Pfieffer's dress looks a lot like Vera's and Penelope's.

10:26 - This is nice. Jeff Bridges looks like he might cry.

10:28 - I've met Julianne Moore in real life. She is tee tiny and very very nice.

10:28 - Dear God in heaven, Please don't let them do this for Best Director. If I have to listen to someone go on and on about James Cameron someone is going to get hurt.

10:31 - How do I arrange a lunch with Kate Winslet, Rachel McAdams and Julia Roberts?

10:32 - The Dude abides.

10:39 - Listen, I love Sandra Bullock but Meryl, Carey, Gabby ALL did better jobs.

10:41 - OPRAH IN THE HOUSE!

10:43 - DUDE Spoiler alert Peter!!! Some haven't seen the movie!

10:44 - So you're Gabby. You are nominated for an Oscar and OPRAH is introducing you. Whoa.

10:47 - Come on Academy. Surprise me!

10:48 - Wow. Even though everyone knew she was going to win, it's still kind of crazy. I mean who wins a Best Actress Oscar AND a Razzy in the same year?

10:51 - As a new mommy, loving her speech.

10:52 - If I sat through this whole thing and Katherine Bigelow doesn't win I am going to be so freaking pissed.

10:53 - YIPEE!!! It only took 82 years!

10:58 - YEAH!!! The Hurt Locker was brilliant. I'm so glad it won!

And I'm out! It's been fun. I'll try to get better live blogging software next time Dewayne. :)