dispatches from quilt city: 02/01/2010

Sunday, February 28, 2010

When the moon hits your eye ...

March is a weird time to post about your New Years Resolutions...unless you are posting about giving up on themk.

However, my New Years Resolution was so big, so monumental that I wasn't ready to announce it to the Internet back in January. I wanted to be sure I was committed to the task. Plus, I was still figuring out the exact perimeters of the Resolution itself.

Internet, I gave up pizza.

I mean does it get any bigger than that? Well, it doesn't for me. I can tell you that.

Pizza is my comfort food. THE comfort food as far as I'm concerned. I mean I like sweets as much as the next person. I would never never turn down a chocolate chip cookie. But as far as a food food - food that passes as a real thing you can eat for dinner - pizza is it. My standby. My default. My "I'm hungry and I don't want to risk anything not being satisfying so let's just order pizza."

However, it was getting ridiculous. I was scarfing down three or four or even five pieces without even thinking. I don't like to eat it on real plates because it just makes it cold. So, I would stand by the box and swallow piece after piece. The last time we ordered delivery pizza right after Christmas I remember thinking, "This is so gross. I'm not even enjoying this." And that was it. I announced I was giving up pizza in 2010.

Then I got nervous. I mean that is EXTREME. Might as well give up sugar or chocolate.

So, I altered it. I gave up delivery pizza. No Dominos. No Pizza Hut. No Pizza Inn. No Papa Johns.

If we went to a restaurant, that was one thing but no more standing over the boxes. But I was still wanted to test myself. I wanted to see how long I could go without eating any pizza at all. I made it to the end of the month, when I decided I would only have pizza once a month. At the end of January, Nicholas whipped up some pizza one day for Sunday lunch - almost as an afterthought. It was nothing special and I regretted wasting my one pizza meal on it afterwards. Then in February, I went out with two of my sorority sisters to Joe Bologna's in Lexington the night before the Bar. I had loved their pizza in college and thought for sure it would be worthy of my monthly meal but even it was disappointing.

Now, I'm thinking of going back to my original resolution. I'm realizing my love affair with pizza has actually come to an end (or at least a hiatus) and that I might go back to not eating it at all.

We'll see how March goes. :)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Eye of the Tiger

I ran my first 5k!!! YIPEE!!!

This morning we woke up and drove to Murray so I could participate in the Run4Another 5k. I was a little nervous because I haven't run in almost 2 weeks because of the Bar and I'm used to running on a treadmill. But the sun was shining and I had a rocking playlist, so all was well.

My biggest fans were at the half way point cheering me on.

I made it the finish line at almost 40 minutes exactly. Considering I've been running just over 2 in 30 minutes recently, I was pretty proud of myself.

I think there was someone else who was pretty proud...or at least happy to see me at the finish line. :)

Day 286

Friday, February 26, 2010

Everyone has fun in music class!

Over the past couple months, Nicholas and I have been taking Griffin to a children's music class on Wednesday nights. We sing and dance and play instruments. It's been so fun to see Griffin take it all in even if he doesn't exactly sing and dance yet. His major skill is learning to shake the little rattle egg - which is pretty impressive since all he did in the beginning was put them in his mouth and drool.

I put together a little video of our last class set to some our favorite music class tunes.

Enjoy!

Music Class from hollandnm on Vimeo.

Day 285

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Reaching out

So...about that whole changing every single thing in my life.

Turns out. The teensiest bit harder than I expected.

Look, I've been honest about how totally and completely I hate transitions. (See here) I do not handle them well. You would think at this point I'd see the stress coming from a mile away. I'd steel myself. I'd prepare. I'd do yoga.

You'd be wrong.

I was genuinely unprepared for how different my life would become and how intensely that would affect me. I think on some level I thought since I was choosing these changes the transition wouldn't be so hard. What could be so stressful about having everything you'd hoped and planned for reach fruition? A lot actually. Go figure.

On top of everything else, when I was at my lowest or most vulnerable I thought I couldn't say anything because I'd seem ungrateful or annoying. I could just hear the chorus - "But this is what you wanted!"

So, I've kept my head down and my fears and anxieties to myself. In the mean time, I was getting buried somewhere beneath the rubble of my old life and the freshly laid foundation of my new one.

I'm beginning to realize that discussing things with the not so reasonable voice inside my own head is not working. I'm also beginning to realize that just because huge changes got me to this place doesn't mean only huge changes are going to get me out. Instead, I'm taking one day at a time. I'm facing the fears, learning their names, and inviting them to calm the hell down.

And I'm reaching out.

Reaching out for help, for support, for a listening ear. In other words, if you like your baby pictures with a side of emotional confessionals - you've come to the right place!