dispatches from quilt city

Live blogging (sort of): Oprah Town Hall

Right now I am desperately trying to decide if I love Oprah more than I hate Bill O’Reilly. It might be toss up. However, I’ve decided the only way I’m going to make it through this special Town Hall episode of Oprah featuring Bill O’Reilly is do some live blogging so I’m not just screaming at my TV…I’m screaming at you instead!

(Oh and by live blogging I mean not live at all, but rather from my Tivo list so I don’t have to watch commercials.)

4:04: Why did he just start calling “secular progressives” (Bill’s term for everyone he disagrees with) SP’s? Does abbreviating something make it more believable?

4:06: Why is he yelling at her? You’re not supposed to yell at Oprah - remember what happened to Tom Cruise? Luckily there in stools so he can't jump the couch.

4:06: Holy crap! 6 minutes in and we’re already to abortion and parental notification. That was quick. Also he should talk to the parents of girls who have died from back alley abortions because they were too scared to tell their parents.

4:07: Ok right now I love Oprah more and I know why – she asked the fundamental question everyone should ask Bill O’Reilly. “What do you want us to do about this information?” His response: “Hit them.” He doesn’t want us to do anything except be angry and confrontational. Oh yeah and he wants us to buy his books.

4:08: Is he really asserting the negative state of media to the Queen of all Media who is perhaps the most positive influence in entertainment? Intriguing.

4:11: Yeah audience interaction – exciting. Can’t wait till he starts yelling at them…

4:12: …That didn’t take him long

4:13: Billy O’Reilly doesn’t like the words “middle ground.” Knock me over with a freaking feather. Also why does he keep asking me if I want to live in Holland. It seems nice there – they have tulips. And it makes a perfectly wonderful last name.

4:14: I love that his jokes are falling flat! Even Oprah isn't laughing...Also I'm getting a headache from rolling my eyes so much.

4:15: Ok I wouldn't say that you know what's going if you are a Fox News junkie. You know one side of what's going on.

4:16: There are a lot more men in this audience then your average Bra Revolution episode I'll tell you that much.

4:17: I can't believe Oprah isn't stepping in - he's just yelling over this guy.

4:18: There is a nice looking African-American man with dreads supporting O'Reilly. I've become confused.

4:19: Well thank god - apparently there is an abbreviation for the other side. Traditionalists are people who agree with O'Reilly - "T Warriors" Get your t shirts now ladies and gentlemen.

4:23: Ok I'm about to blow everyone's mind - sometimes there are more than 2 sides to an issue. WHOA! I know it's intense. ...Also Bill thinks we were sold the war. Good. Does he accept responsibility for doing some of the selling is the real question?

4:25: Wait he made a formal on air apology. I didn't know that. Ok props for that Bill. See MIDDLE GROUND.

4:26: OK HOLD THE FREAKING PHONE. (Insert my own personal Bill O'Reilly outraged voice here.) DO NOT. DO NOT MENTION George Bush in the same sentence as Abraham Lincoln. Ever! Abraham Lincoln was a genius who was compassionate and empathetic and knew when to say he was wrong. George Bush is NONE of those things. I swear to God if one more person tries to link those two I'm going to hurt somebody.

4:27: Audience member - "We could have chose Iran or Syria or somewhere else to go." OR we could have not attacked anyone. Thoughts? This guy is a disgrace to redheads.

4:28: Don't call MLK a T Warrior. Oprah slap him - NOW!

4:30: He's not polarizing anybody!!!! He's said war 50 times, warrior 36, and fight 15. How is that not polarizing.

4:31: YEAH! ACLU bashing! ...And quickly to NAMBLA and ACLU's representation of them. As a card carrying member of the ACLU, I will have to direct you here and say that it seems that Bill O'Reilly would agree with the ACLU that it is people who must take responsibility for their actions instead of blaming others.

4:32: Sigh...now he's attacking the ACLU for standing up to The Minute Men. Here.

4:36: Never a good thing when we are saying "Why should we give them any type of rights at all?" There's an absolute for ya...Ok the world is gray people. Not black and white. Gray. It's just that simple. That doesn't mean you don't take stands or that nothing is wrong or right. ... Ok see now he's on to torture. Well let me tell you what - according to the Bush administration that is gray. Talking about moral relativism and constantly moving the line of what is acceptable.

4:40: Bill - "I know that I sound like I'm whining." Because you ARE!

4:41: Does he make up this many phrases on his own show? You know Steven Colbert's jokes are starting to make a lot more sense to me all of a sudden!

4:42: Ok Bill obviously doesn't watch Oprah b/c if he did he would know he gets personally attacked every day b/c he personally attacks every day. Oprah lesson #35 (also known as kharma) - what you send out into the universe you get back....Also you are asking Bill O'Reilly how to keep your friends while asserting your views?!? hahahahahahahahahahaha

4:43: Bill isn't as orange as he usually is - see I can say something nice!!!

4:44: WAIT just a second! He just said he wasn't calm on television b/c he's got to get people to watch. Isn't that catering to your audience, which is exactly what he accuses the "left wing media" of doing when they cover celebrities, etc.?!?

4:47: I didn't know David Letterman gave him such crap. I didn't know David Letterman had it in him!

4:48: hahahah This woman just used his baloney back at him! I like it! Maybe I'll start saying baloney...

4:49: I hate this argument. We killed Iraqis so Sadam couldn't kill more Iraqis. Ridiculous! If we cared about the slaughter of women and children, we'd be all over Darfur.

4:54: "I'm not a blame guy." Seriously! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."We need to think about it without emotion and ideology." Are you freaking kidding me!?! After explaining to Oprah the two ideologies that are at "war" in our country (SP's and T Warriors for those of you without the accompanying Key), you told her people needed to get angry and fight. But we need to think about it without emotion and ideogoloy huh? If there is a God in heaven, the Daily Show is working on an edited package of this interview right now.

4:55: Iran hates Cleveland? I wasn't aware.

4:58: Culture Warriors wear pretty blue windbreakers apparently. I'm rushing out to get mine right now!

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Whew that was fun. I need a nap now.

Oh and I definitely love Oprah more than I hate Bill O'Reilly. I actually don't hate Bill O'Reilly - Although I do wish he was back on Inside Edition where he belongs - I just think he complains about the media when a) he IS the freaking media and b) he does the same thing he complains about. The media isn't perfect. They sell conflict and confrontation because of a lot of reasons (ratings, time and resource constraints, their own biases) but SO DOES BILL O'REILLY. So stop acting like you are helping the country and doing us all some great service. Because you are not.

Now Oprah on the otherhand... well that's another post ;)