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This episode is entitled Griffin Learns Business Law.

Also see the shape of his mouth? He just learned to say o's and u's and he is WAY into it. His face is pretty much stuck there for most of the day.

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Day 338

Griffin has recently decided having his diaper or clothes changed is TORTURE. As in, screaming devastated how-could-you-do-this-to-me!?! torture.

Who the hell knows why?

I usually just give him a pacifier and try to get it over with as fast as possible. However, Papa Ron has a pretty strong aversion to Griffin crying. I'd say he feels about the same way about Griffin crying as Griffin feels about getting his clothes changed.

So, I came the in his room the other night and Ron had found this unique solution to Griffin's new aversion to the changing table. Ron was (slowly) changing his clothes while Griffin rocked in the rocker.

The things we do for babies. :)

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Day 335

Friday Griffin turned 11 months old. It was the last big milestone before he turns one and I felt pretty emotional all day.

I remember so vividly the first few days of his life. Every second felt so precious because I knew in a blink of an eye I'd be sitting where I am now - staring his first birthday in the face.

I compare it to those first few clicks of a roller coaster - as you slowly creep up the first big hill. The anticipation is so intense because you know the speed and thrills that await you. You know they are coming and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You also know how quickly it will all be over.

During those first days, I knew the speed and thrills that awaited me. I knew how fast I'd be holding a little boy in my arms instead of a tiny baby. I wanted it all to stop so badly so that I could just savor the tiny being I'd just created. At the same time, I wanted to see him grow and develop, smile at me, interact, make those first sounds.

I still feel that same tension - between wanting him to stay the same while at the same time wanting him to grow and change. I guess that's the real heartbreak of motherhood. You create this perfect little creature you want to hold onto forever knowing in the end - if you did your job right - you'll have to let them go.

A year ago

Discuss.

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Day 323

Happy Easter!

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Day 319

Baby Swim Class

Baby Swim Class from hollandnm on Vimeo.

Day 318

Griffin gets an official place at the table.

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Day 316

Myth of the Golden Age

Recently, I was playing bunco with a bunch of wonderful women. (Yes, I play bunco now. That's another post entirely.) We were taking turns answering questions from one of those ice-breaker books and a really great issue came up.

Do you think the world will be a better place 100 years from now?

I immediately answered "Of course!"

A bit too loudly it turns out because everyone else just as quickly answered no. One woman in particular seemed to be shocked by my answer. As way of explanation, I made the most logical analogy I could which was "Well would you want to live 100 years ago?" This seemed obvious to me - if you think life is better now than 100 years ago, why wouldn't it continue getting better? The march of modern civilization. Yada yada yada.

It seemed just as obvious to me that her answer would be no. Of course she doesn't want to live 100 years ago! As a woman, you couldn't vote, own property in most states, and your husband could beat or rape you with impunity. I mean 1910 was not exactly the year of the woman.

Well, imagine my surprise when she answered yes. In fact, several women in the room seemed interested in the glory days of the early 20th Century - before birth control, before microwaves, before OPRAH.

And the myth of the golden age strikes again.

"Kids these days just don't respect their elders." "Parents just let their children run wild now a days!" "When I was young, people showed personal responsibility."

IT WEARS. ME. OUT.

I understand that it is most likely some basic psychological response that is hard-wired into our brains but just the same. Things really weren't that great 20 or 50 or 100 years ago. I'm 28 and I had friends having sex in 6th grade. My mother is in her 50's. In high school, she wore skirts so short they wouldn't pass a dress code in the tri-state area. My great-grandmother is 98. When Elvis came along, I'm pretty sure he looked to her like the second coming of Satan.

What I'm saying is that we should all just calm the hell down.

I know the internet seems like a wellspring for every form of sexual deviance known to man but it also is source of support and endless information to those who need it. I know that there is some pretty nasty stuff on TV but there is also amazing art that inspires and educates. And I know some kids really don't have any respect for their elders but they aren't the first and I truly believe they are the exception not the rule.

There are some really great kids out there. Kids who will encounter a world full of promise and possibility.

At least I hope so, because I'm currently raising one myself.

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Day 311

With all the crawling and pulling up, it was only a matter of time before we started on the bumps and bruises too. Here is the first really bad one - right smack in the middle of his cheek. It looks like we've been slapping him around, which I promise we ONLY do when he forgets to pick up the beer with the pizza.

Day 310

So, first I decided to take a shot of Griffin's new favorite thing - pulling up on to his knees on the coffee table - but then...

I looked over and he was suddenly doing THIS!

And we have lift off...

day 309

We had a big Stewart family dinner last night. It was our biggest crowd yet - 10 adults and two children. Last night was my dad's last night in town so he came over with my grandmother, uncle and aunt, cousin, his girlfriend and her adorable son Conner. Nicholas made spaghetti and meatballs, along with eggplant rollatini. It was all delicious and a huge hit.

Conner kept asking if he could play with Griffin and was so sweet with him - even though Griffin wanted every single toy Conner picked up. I guess we'll have to work on that whole sharing thing. ;)

Day 308

This is four out of five generations. On the far left is Griffin's great-great grandmother Maggie Stewart. She is 95 years old. Next to her is my father John and I think you know the next two ;)

Sadly, my grandfather Junior - our missing fourth generation - passed away several years ago. It breaks my heart because I know he would have been Griffin's biggest fan.

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Day 306

Yesterday was the perfect spring day. Not too hot. Not too cold. Blinding sunshine ALL DAY LONG. I walked around all day feeling like I'd just won the lottery.

On top of all that spring happiness, my dad is in town for a visit. He was so happy to see Griffin and vice versa. We had a wonderful day including a trip to the park for some time in the swings. Fun was had by all. :)

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dispatches from quilt city

Dear Paducah,

Last week was our one year anniversary. I'm sorry I forgot to send a card.

I know our first break-up was hard. You were just a little two clingy those first 18 years and I really needed some space. But now? Now, I think we've both learned some things. We're more mature. We can communicate like adults. I'm so proud of both of us.

I love those things about you that never change. The way people always say hello - the greetings from those who knew you as a child are especially sweet. The buildings that are like the beloved faces of long lost relatives - the Hotel Irvin Cobb, Concord Elementary, the old Coca-Cola plant. The old men in overalls and trucker hats who turn up when and where you least expect them. The rolling fields and crumbling barns that still take my breath away after all this time.

But I also love some of the changes you have made. I love getting coffee at Etc. and seeing all the artists gathered for their morning chats. I love the new nature walk at Noble Park and how the whole town seems to be there when the sun is shining. I love how excited everyone got when the ice rink opened at the start of winter. Most of all, I love seeing you through my new eyes as a parent. Paducah, you raised me and I think it speaks to the trust between us that I want you to raise Griffin, too.

What I'm trying to say is that I think it's going pretty well. You might not have all the sexy offerings of the big city and I still really wish you had a Target. But, at the end of the day, I think we just might make it.

Plus when we fight, it's nothing a couple Red's donuts can't fix.

Love,

Sarah

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Day 300

I mean COME ON. Are y'all still sitting up or did you keel over from the adorableness? I hope you didn't hurt yourself on the way down.

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Coming soon...