Sunday, June 07, 2009

Day 21



Firsts

Two Firsts from hollandnm on Vimeo.

Day 20

Griffin had his first real bath on Friday. We used our brand new Puj bathtub, which was awesome! (Thanks McCune's!) He fit in there perfectly and we didn't have to worry about him sliding around or hurting his head. Once the water was on, he seemed to really enjoy it. He didn't even cry when it went over his face. He did cry however we took him out...a lot.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Day 15

Reason #3840 I'm glad we moved home: My parents watched Griffin for almost 4 hours yesterday morning so we could go on a major shopping expedition baby-free. Needless to say, we got substantially more accomplished without our little tag-along, although we did miss him terribly.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Day 14

Griffin turned two weeks old yesterday. He is just as perfect and beautiful as he was last week - probably more - so you can all sleep easy tonight ;)

It was a big day for the whole family as we officially moved into our house. It was pretty cool for his first night in the house to be our first night too. We made Mom, Ron, and Mema stick around through dinner so that we didn't have to adjust to their absence too abruptly. After living with Mom and Ron for two months, we've gotten pretty used to their company. However, we did manage to stay the whole night all by ourselves and we're settling in nicely.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Day 13



Today Griffin had his first tummy time yesterday. He seemed to enjoy it. He's been in a real hurry to hold his head up and has incredibly strong neck muscles. At 13 days old, he managed to lift his head and turn it to the other side while on his stomach. It was pretty insane.

Day 12

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Day 9

Griffin went for his first walk yesterday. He was meh on it. He also had a little bout of gas that made him cranky. We think it was from the strawberries I had several nights on a row. Otherwise, he's still doing great and growing like crazy.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Day 8

Griffin got his first infant massage last night. He seemed to really enjoy it and visibly relaxed. We also showed him his special White on Black book made just for infants because they can see white and black contrast. It was amazing to see him focus in on something so intently. The last picture is Nicholas asking if Griffin looks anything like him - leave your feedback in the comments. ;)



Sunday, May 24, 2009

Day 7

Griffin turned one week old yesterday. I'm already a little sad at how fast the days are flying by.

It was a big day for the little guy. He took his first trip to the lake. He met several family members and I had my first new mother anxiety attack. I think it was a combination of heat and paranoia about him being exposed to so many people but I settled down semi-quickly.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Day Six

He had his first bath yesterday and was SO not a fan.


The Birth

When I was in college, I took a religion course with a professor who was passionate about birth. I don't remember exactly how he fit it in but we read several articles by Michael Odent a home and water birth pioneer. I remember being completely overwhelmed by how powerful birth could be if it was given the respect it deserved. Since college, I continued to read more about the history of birth, watch and learn from my friend's births, and dream of the day I could have finally have this experience for myself.

I haven't really written about my journey to home birth on the blog for a lot of reasons. For so many months, when we were still working out the logistics of the move to Kentucky or even wondering if it would all happen, I wasn't sure how the home birth would work out. Family members had to be convinced and I had to find a midwife in a notoriously anti-midwife environment. However, in small ways and piece by piece, things fell in place.

The only time that my dream seemed in jeopardy was the week before I went into labor. I had had such a healthy pregnancy up until that point and had been vigilant about maintaining my weight. However, as the due date approached, I basically decided I was out of the woods and started eating whatever I wanted. My blood pressure skyrocketed and my midwife told me point blank that if I didn't get it down by the next day I would have to go to the hospital. She looked me straight in the eye and said they would put me on a magnesium drip and induce me with pitocin. At that moment, I felt my entire being say NO and I knew that was not going to be my reality. Thanks to my friend Elizabeth who was visiting and bought about a thousand pounds of fruits and veggies, I was able through diet, meditation, and yoga to drop my diastolic by almost 20 points in 24 hours. Now, I have a hunch my little guy was not so happy about the sudden absence of all cookies, cake, and donuts because as we all know he decided to arrive after about 2 days after my diet change.

I woke up at 5am on Saturday morning with what felt like bad menstrual cramps. I'd had those a couple of mornings over the past two weeks but I usually fell back asleep and they would stop. Well, these weren't stopping so I decided to get up and walk around the house for awhile. I paced for about an hour before I woke up Nicholas and told him we were taking a walk around the neighborhood. He definitely seemed confused at first but I told him not to get too excited because I kept thinking it could end at any moment. We walked around for about 45 minutes and he attempted to time the contractions but they were all over the place. We came back in and I tried to distract myself by watching some TV and putting stamps on announcement envelopes. After a while, I even tried to go back to sleep but the second I would fade off another contraction would come on.

Around 10 am, my midwife and her assistant showed up. I think at that point I realized that there is no way this was false labor and that it was really happening, especially when she checked me and said I was 3 centimeters dilated. At this point, I was beginning to have trouble handling the contractions by myself so they couldn't have arrived at a better time. I just felt like I didn't have a real strategy but my midwife came in and immediately began coaching me. She would tell me when to change positions and what positions to try. The best part was her and her assistant began massaging my back, which was not only a relief but seemed to really move things along. Her coaching totally allowed me to relax and stay out of my head. I knew I didn't have to worry about my breathing or my position and all I had to focus on was bringing him down into my pelvis.

At the time, I had no real perspective on time. I remember once looking out the window and wondering if it would start to get dark soon. However, in reality, things were moving along incredibly fast. My midwife checked me again about two hours later and I was already up to 7 centimeters. My mom and Nicholas had been sitting up the pool this entire time which was perfect, because the contractions were getting really intense.

I spent about two hours in the pool. The most comfortable position was doubled over the side with my midwife or her assistant applying pressure to my hips and rocking them back and forth. Again, I can't emphasize enough how instrumental all the support was in allowing me to handle the contractions and move forward. There were a couple times I would feel a contraction coming and no one had their hands on me. It was really scary to feel like I was alone and I would just yell HELP! Suddenly, all these hands were on me and people were whispering in my ears.

My midwife's assistant was the one I needed the most towards the end. She had large, strong hands and would push my hips back and forth. There came a moment when I realized that I didn't have to use any of my muscles to move my hips and that she would do it for me. It was such a relief to stop moving. Again, it was just another thing that let me stay out of my head and just relax into the contractions.

I also remember my midwife looking me in the eyes and telling me every contraction I had was one fewer I had to have. She told me at the perfect moment because I think I was starting to anticipate the pain and tense up. Her telling me that reminded me the pain has a purpose and that I had to move through it in order for it to end.

I started having the urge to push towards the end of my time in the pool. It was so exciting to know I was approaching the finish line. My water had still not broken and was bulging out of my body. My midwife decided to go ahead and break my water in the pool. I don't remember that making a huge difference in the intensity of the contractions. They were all pretty intense at that point. My midwife decided that moving to the bedroom might be what I needed to make him crown. So, I made what seemed like a very long walk back to our bedroom.

At first I was basically squatting off the end of the bed but my midwife informed me that she couldn't hold me and the baby. We tried a couple of pushes on my back but the baby's heart rate would drop. I started to get frustrated because I felt like every time everyone would yell how close he was to crowning but nothing was happening. At one point, I yelled at my midwife to get him out! She yelled right back that I was the only one that could do that. Finally, I was squatting into the contractions and then standing back up. It started to burn but I knew that I had to push into the burn to really make it happen. Then, sort of when I least expected it, I heard a blop and heard Nicholas's voice full of emotion yell, "He's out! Oh my god, he's out!"

Because I was standing, I sort of doubled over and they put Griffin on my back. So, everyone could see him but me. I was crying, "Let me see my baby!" After what felt like forever, I laid down on the bed. They handed him to me and my life changed forever.

Now, I cannot emphasize enough that this birth would have been impossible without my midwife and her support. I trusted her with every ounce of my body. If she told me to get a ladder and jump off the roof, I would have done it. I knew that she was there totally and completely for me. She had no other patients. She wasn't thinking about her own liability. All she wanted was for me to have the birth I'd dreamed about and to keep me and my son safe. I remember registering when she would take his heart rate and couldn't find it for second or two. However, it was literally just a passing observance. I never remember feeling any fear or doubt that either of us weren't safe in her care. Because I didn't have to think of any of this, I could focus all my energy on giving birth.

I wish I could fully express my feelings about that day. The birth of your first child changes everyone's life but for me his arrival is inextricably linked to how he arrived. The journey through the pain with no medical intervention or drugs was essential to the perfection of our first moments - even days - together. Griffin wasn't groggy or traumatized. My body and my hormones were allowed to flow naturally so I felt (and have continued to feel) so happy and mellow.

I fought hard for the home birth I wanted and I worked hard through the birth itself. All of it was worth it though for the perfection of moments like this.



Friday, May 22, 2009

Day Five

So today was basically try out all our new baby toys on the baby. Can you tell?



Saturday, May 16, 2009

Welcome to the world little one!

Everyone meet Griffin Stewart Holland. Born today at 2:55pm at home in Paducah, KY. He weighed 9 lbs 7 ounces and is 22 inches long.

He is ...of course.... the best baby EVER!!!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Week 38

Ok so maybe putting off posting for a couple of days isn't the best of idea this late in the game. ;)

Don't worry - I'm still pregnant. We've just had some very eventful days. Last week, we finished up a ton of work on the house and it actually looks like someone lives there. My Aunt Lana came into town for Mother's Day and it was another whirlwind of decorating and late night trips to TJ Maxx.

Also, my dear friend Elizabeth came into town with her two boys and we've had a really fun time hanging out with them. They got here Friday, while we were in Nashville for Pamela's graduation from law school. We had a really lovely time with Nicholas's family and lovely Mother's Day with mine.

The baby is still hanging out. Clearly, he is pretty comfortable but we're not pressuring him. The most important thing is that he's ready so I'm trying to stay patient. :)

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Week 37

So....

Still pregnant. Thanks for asking. :)

Still dragging around this giant belly. I've even learned to give it a big shove with my hand when I roll over at night.

It's been a bit weird shift in attitude this last week. I went from focusing all on my attention on keeping the baby inside to - all of a sudden - waiting for and wanting him to come out. Of course, everyone else in the entire world also seems focused on this outcome so that probably enhances my perception that everyone is secretly slipping pitocin in my water.

I had told myself that I wouldn't get all stressed about when he showed up and that ultimately this little baby boy is the one who decides when he's ready. And just to clarify I'm not sick of being pregnant and want him out for my own comfort, it's more about the fact that we start studying for the bar at the end of May and I'd like a week or two with him before I have to start scheduling study time.

On other fronts, the house is coming along nicely. The bathroom is supposed to be finished this week. After that, we're going to have the house cleaned and the carpets steamed. Hopefully, we'll be moving boxes in by this weekend.

Two Downs:
1. At a shower this weekend, a lady from my church looked at me with the biggest smile on her face and exclaimed, "You must be miserable!!!" It was ridiculous.
2. I miss my full range of motion.

Two Ups:
1. It has been an incredible relief to stop worrying about premature birth and all its complications.
2. We put together the crib and crib bedding this weekend and it was so awesome to have the nursery start looking like a nursery!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Week 36

So, big news on the baby front ... I am now officially full term!!! It feels really good (and a little crazy) to know that the baby could safely arrive at any time now. Getting to the end of this week was really important to me because I wanted to make it to full term AND make it to my final baby shower on Sunday.

This is the fourth for those keeping score at home. It was hosted by my fabulous aunts Wendy and Lana and they did a really beautiful job. This shower was mainly for my friends and family in Paducah and it meant so much to me to have everyone there. We had cake and I opened a ton of presents. I got lots of great gear and some adorable little outfits.

My grandmother claims I will wear this baby out changing its clothes, because I've already bought so many clothes on my own. I would just like to say in my defense that when we found out the baby was a boy, there were only a couple of sad little onesies left after I sorted out the girl stuff. I just felt so bad for my little man that I might have slightly overreacted. But whatever so my baby will be the best dressed baby boy in Paducah...there are worse fates.

Anyway, the shower wasn't the only party this weekend. My family kept it going all weekend because we also had a surprise housewarming party for my cousin Michael. He just bought his first house and after the party, it will be filled with lots of kitchen supplies and more laundry detergent then he might ever use.

The other positive development this week was we found a pediatrician! We had an interview with another doctor who had come highly recommended by many of my friends and he was just as wonderful as they had described. He's opposed to the overuse of antibiotics, he is very supportive of us using an alternative vaccine schedule, and he seems generally passionate about the care of children. My favorite moment was when he said, "I try to practice 21st century medicine. I'm not going to do something just because it's been done for the past 15 years." I almost hugged him. So, yeah! - our baby has a doctor.

Our home improvements are also moving along nicely and we finished painting the two front rooms. Since my aunt was in town for the shower, we took a few more runs through Surplus City and TJ Maxx and picked out drapes and accesssories for several of our rooms. Everything is really coming together and it's so exciting.

The only blip this week was that my mother was diagnosed with BOTH strands of the flu (no it's not swine flu!). The best part is she got the flu vaccine, which justifies me further in never getting said vaccine because it's freaking pointless. She feels pretty bad but we've quarantined her in her bedroom and no one else in the house has gotten sick, so I think we're ok.

Two Downs:
1. My hips and lower back are really starting to hurt, especially at night. If I don't do my yoga, it's difficult to sleep through the night.
2. I'm starting to get frustrated with my limited range of motion. It sucks feeling like a turtle on its back half the time.

Two Ups:
1. I'm starting to get really excited about the baby actually being here and in my arms. I'm even excited about labor and delivery (yeah, yeah it hurts - I know!).
2. Other than the hip and back pain, I still feel really great - no swelling, no heartburn, no nothing.

Paducah Baby Shower


Paducah Baby Shower from hollandnm on Vimeo.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Week 35

We had another busy week this week. The biggest news is we closed on our house on Friday! After a couple weeks off, we are officially homeowners again. Everything went as planned and they even got started on the bathroom redo earlier than we thought. By Friday evening, everything but the floors and walls had been completely ripped out. It was so exciting to see that project getting started because I cannot WAIT for the result.

We also started painting and by "we" I mean Nicholas, Mom (despite her broken toe), and Ron. Over the weekend, the nursery was painted and they put one coat on the living room. We managed to squeeze this in along with a trip to Tennessee to pick up my new dining room furniture I bought off Craigslist for a steal!

There were also a few developments on the baby front. I interviewed a pediatrician, which has been on my list for awhile. Unfortunately, it did not go well. My first sign that this was not going to be a match made in heaven was when I said that her practice had a reputation for being antibiotic-happy and she laughingly responded, "We probably are!" If that wasn't enough, she went on to describe herself as a "lazy toilet trainer" and opined that the immunization system is perfect like it is. Needless to say, I'm hoping the interview this week goes better. Another major to-do item I checked off was Infant CPR. Ron, Nicholas, and I attended an American Heart Association training and I feel much better prepared should the unthinkable happen.

On top of it all, I had a lovely shower on Saturday in La Center with my Nanny and her friends. Everyone was so sweet to come celebrate with me and so generous to give such great gifts. I had a really wonderful time.

One Down:
1. I'm reinstating the downs for this week not because I'm feeling bad but because I need an outlet for my frustration. I really, really need strangers to stop commenting on my belly. I get it. I'm pregnant. You think I'm going to go "any minute" or that I'm about to "pop." But guess what? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!!! Keep it to your dang self!

Two Ups:
1. It has been so exciting to start organizing and putting the nursery together in our new home.
2. Despite several warnings from relatives, I have not put on a ton of weight at the end. In fact, my weight seems to have stabilized.

Too cute not to share

Baby Steals

Since it seems every other friend I have is either pregnant or just had a baby, I thought I'd include a link for one of my favorite sites to find little baby bargains (especially for all of you that don't have the pleasure of living near Surplus City!)

It's called Baby Steals and they put up a new deal on a product every day - it can be everything from baby clothes to strollers to bibs to you name it. They post at 9am mountain time and you have to get there quick for the really high demand items because they only have a select amount.

Nicholas was in charge for awhile but I took over after he'd always announce they had some great item I'd wanted followed quickly by - "Oh, never mind they're sold out."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Week 34

We had a lot of exciting developments this week. First, we got our car seat installed by the fire department. I was determined not to be one of those people who procrastinate the big tasks until the last minute, so it felt good to get that done.

Even more exciting, I found a doula! My mom was off for spring break so she got to come with me to meet her. I had all these official interview questions printed out but they basically got thrown out the window after the first few minutes. In a nutshell, she shares all my values and opinions about birth and we got along amazingly well. I'm so excited to know she'll be there to coach and support both me and Nicholas.

As if the perfect doula wasn't enough, Nicholas and I went to have maternity photos taken on Saturday. We took several with both of us in matching black shirts and then she took a roll of me wrapped in a long cheesecloth. The photographer was really great and I'm so excited we got to document my belly in a really beautiful way - although I know y'all are boiled over by the beauty of our weekly shots in front of the door. ;)

That night my Aunt Lana came to town with her family for Easter and we scheduled a walk through of the house so she could see it. For those of you who have not met my aunt, she is quite the force of nature. She channels all this energy into interior design as her day job and has lovingly agreed to design our new house for us. It is really amazing to see her at work, but just to give you an idea. She arrived around 5 pm on Saturday and by that night she had already picked the paint colors for the living room, dining room, nursery, a bathroom, and our bedroom.... oh and we somehow managed to get to Surplus City in time for me to buy a couch and loveseat, Home Depot to pick out fixtures, tile, and a vanity, AND to TJ Maxx for pillows, bathroom accessories, and towels. It was pretty wild.

It's amazing we all had any energy for Easter Sunday, but we did and had a wonderful time with all of the family. The Easter Bunny even came that morning, which was VERY exciting, especially since I'm guess it's the last year I'm going to be getting a basket. :)

Two Ups:
1. I'm only doing ups this week because I still feel pretty great. I'm so grateful that it seems wrong to search for things to complain about.
2. The baby is super-active, which is really great because I never have to wonder if he's doing ok. The giant moving lump on side of my belly I think is a pretty good sign. :)

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Week 33

Well, dang, since I don't have any huge life changes to report this week, I feel a little lame. I did have a really nice week, which involved upteen trips to Surplus City. It's gotten to the point where one of the employees expressed concern that I might actually give birth in the store. ;)

I had a nice afternoon with my Nanny one day. On Saturday, we ate breakfast with all of my family and Nicholas got some fishing in. That night Nicholas made dinner for my mom, Ron, and their close friends the Orr's and the Blythe's, which was a lot of fun.

Other than that, we're just trying to wrap a few loose ends before the birth. My goal is to have nothing else on my checklist by the end of next week and I'm proud to say we're right on track. We bought a bunch of supplies over the weekend and I washed my first load of tiny little baby things. It was pretty adorable, although I'm sure it will be less so around load 3,498.

Two Downs:
1. The same area I've been complaining about - around my ribs where all my organs are smooched up - is getting more sensitive by the day.
2. I get tired sooo easy. I can't make more than a couple of trips around Surplus City without desperately needing to sit down.

Two Ups:
1. Despite a few days last week, I'm sleeping pretty well, which I am incredibly thankful for.
2. My hormones have been giving me a run for my money. I can tell almost from the second I wake up if everything will be sunshine and roses or if I'm going to want chew razorblades, as my mom used to say. Sometimes if I take a nap I can reset myself as the case may be, but I hate being a slave to my moods. I'm sure Nicholas would give that a firm second.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Critter Capture: Part Deux


Critter Capture: Part Deux
Originally uploaded by SarahorNicholas

First, it was Peter the Possum behind the house.

Now, it's Randy the Racoon in the attic.

My next guess is Miss Scarlett in the Library.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Critter Capture


Critter Capture
Originally uploaded by SarahorNicholas

On this episode of the new reality show starring Sarah and Nicholas, The Paducah Project, we have a very special guest start - Peter the Possum!

I swear I couldn't make this stuff up.

We've been hearing scurrying, scratching, and general hijinks coming from fireplace and attic for several weeks. My mother claims she's been hearing this "critter" for quite sometime and has been meaning to call my Grandaddy Bud to help her take care of it. Well, Maggie must have been the extra push she needed because she was NOT standing for it and would freak the hell out every time the critter made a sound.

We called Daddy Bud who told us he would bring us his trap (which of course he already owned) and informed us it was likely a raccoon. While advising us on how best to lure the critter, he informed us that "coons LOVE marshmallows!" Who knew.

Well, Nicholas and Mom very excitedly sat up the trap and would check it every day. It was actually Maggie who first realized the trap had worked and caught up our dear friend Peter the Possum. They were both very excited, although I have to say Nicholas was very hesitant - notice who is standing closer to the trap in the picture.

Ron decided the only logical solution was to drive the possum in his car across the river to Southern Illinois, thereby guaranteeing the possum could not return and making it officially "Illinois's problem." He was pretty insistent, so him and my mom drove Peter to Illinois. Apparently, he was a little hesitant at first and they literally had to dump the trap out before he got the hint and scurried off into the forest.

Sadly, that night we continued to hear critter noises. My mother now feels Peter was probably an innocent bystander and has reset the trap this time upstairs in the attic.

Critter Gate continues.

I'll keep you all informed.